National Infant Loss Remembrance Day 2014

"When a child loses a parent, they are called an orphan.  When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or a widower.  When parents lose their children, there isn't a word to describe them."  ~ Ronald Reagan in 1988, when he declared October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Yesterday marked our third observance of National Infant Loss Remembrance Day, which is the one day I devote the blog to our baby girl.  I regret not finding the time yesterday to sit and write, but we were very busy all day getting ready to leave town for the weekend.  However, the benefit of waiting an extra day is that I get to tell you about how I observed this day with a wonderfully strong community of people who have been touched either personally or indirectly by the loss of a child or children.

As most of you know a support group in Waco called Cradled supported Curtis and me through our loss.  This group has only been in existence since 2011, but they have really made a difference in the lives of so many families across Waco.  Since losing our baby, I have felt the need to give back to this organization by supporting other families who have experienced loss.  I am currently a week away from finishing as session with five precious families and it has truly been an honor to walk through this journey with them.

Cradled is a non-profit organization, so fundraising is always a need for this group, especially as they expand to serve more families and the need for possible paid positions, such as a bilingual group leader, increases.  Last night the Cradled community rallied to raise $650.00 and we had an absolute joyful evening honoring our babies in the process.  We spent the evening at Painting with a Twist, and they generously donated half the proceeds to Cradled.  If you have a Paining with a Twist near you, I would encourage you to give it a try.  Even those with no artistic ability made beautiful paintings (as proof, you can see mine below).  I of course went a little “off script”, but really would you expect otherwise?  So we painted, we ate, we sang and I sensed such a connection with everyone in the room.  I hope I was not the only one who experienced this!

 The original painting only had one heart.  I put three so each of my children would be represented.  I also "carved" Curtis and my initials in the trunk of the tree.

The three hearts closer up.  I put each of their initials and year they were born.

But I can say that two years and a month after the loss of our baby, we have made great strides in healing.  Asher and Max deserve a lot of the credit for this, but Cradled also deserves credit.  And I guess they like me too…. They made me Curriculum Director.  Sounds fancy, no?  I am thrilled to dig deeper into this group and find ways of using my talents and education (my degree will be in Curriculum and Teaching after all) to give more to this cause.

And thanks to our family and friends who have also supported us.  Your love has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. 

Maybe next year I will work up the courage to see her face again, but really I don’t need to look at pictures… She looked a great deal like her brothers.  I will leave you with a sand dollar.  Seeing one of these always reminds me of her, which is why I wear one close to my heart always.